Brilliant Thought: Truth

Psalm 51:6
"Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being,
And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom."


John 14:6
"Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me."


Colossians 3:3
"For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God."


 John 17:23
"I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me."


Psalm 40:10
"I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation."

God desires truth in the innermost being.  Jesus is the Truth.  God desires that Jesus be in the hidden part, my spirit, to teach me wisdom.  I am also hidden in the Truth, Jesus, in right relationship with the Father.  He is in me, I am in Him.  Though His truth and righteousness dwell in my hidden heart, I am not to keep it to myself, but to magnify Him to the world through my life!


Beautiful mystery! 
Bliss to you!
Sarah

Endearing Vulnerability

Yesterday wasn't my best day.  Tired.  Irritable.  More than a little grumpy.  And in constant high demand from my kids.  Just one of those days that left me feeling pressed in upon on all sides, drained, and weak of mind and spirit.  By the time my husband got home from work, I was at the end of my rope.  He took over kid duty and I escaped to a tub of hot water and solitude.   I just wanted to hide from the world and weep.  One of those days.   Don't get me wrong.  My life is great.  I have no complaints.  Which only added the layer of "pansy" to the cocktail of emotions washing over me.  Logically, when I look at the intense suffering being endured around the world, there is no reason for me to be crying into my bathwater.   But I just couldn't do it.  I was at the end of myself.  Run dry.  Broken enough to realize I cannot do life on my own strength, no matter how great that life is.


So, I did the only thing I know that works: collapse into the arms of my Heavenly Father.  I let go of dependance on my own emotional, mental, or spiritual strength and acknowledged, through sobs, my utter need of Him in the very core of my being.  John 15:5 became reality to me: "apart from Me you can do nothing."  Nothing.  I can't even function at a basic level for long with any success without Him.  The religious virus in me wanted to feel shame in this realization and my acceptance of it.  But Holy Spirit had grace enough for me in that state and let me glimpse His heart's response to my weakness.  He said to me, "I LOVE your vulnerability!  I am your Maker and your Bridegroom, my heart beats to be strong for you!  When you come to Me weak and in need of Me, it makes My heart come alive to you!"  If I hadn't already been crying, I assure you I would've started then.

I began to think of my relationship with my husband in this light.  I know that Sam (like most husbands) enjoys coming through for me, his wife.  When I have a need and he meets it, it turns my heart towards him in love and adoration, which in turn stokes the fire of his affection for me.  If I were to go through our married life thinking and acting as if I never had need for Sam's provision, protection, intimacy, or input, our hearts would quickly grow apart and our home life would become increasingly miserable.  No, I need him and he needs me.  And that marriage co-dependency is designed to be a picture of how our hearts were created to need God.


God has a serious hero complex.  He LOVES to rescue, redeem, and show His burning love and everlasting strength for His Bride!  When I let go of my illusion of control and acknowledge that I desperately need Him at a core level, He is not embarrassed or irritated by that....His heart swells in love for my weakness.  I was created to need Him!


I was also created to be victorious in Him!  This year has been one of intense and relentless learning how to live and move in the victory of Jesus.  But that is not the whole human experience.  We are paradoxical creatures in a paradoxical relationship with a paradoxical God.  He intends for me to walk in victory.  And He also intends that when I cannot, I lean hard into Him Who cannot fail.  


Both my victory and my vulnerability work to endear me to His heart!  And both expose His great and unfathomable love for me!
And for you.


Bliss to you!
Sarah

Be Loved.

I was standing in worship on Sunday, feeling anything but holy.  I was disapointed in myself in every respect.  Just a general feeling of "blah" all across the board: heart, mind, body.  I desperately wanted to feel God's presence.  I knew I needed it more than anything else.  But I couldn't escape the overwhelming knowledge that I am nothing.  A breath.  And a pretty stale one at that.  Louder than the choir, the thoughts in my head replayed, as they had been doing for two days..."What have you done with your life?"  "What are you ever going to do?"  "You aren't good at much of anything."  "You are SO average."  Part of me recognized the Accuser's signature on those thoughts, but the other part of me argued that they felt so true.  I heaved a sigh and looked heavenward.  God, what do I do with this?  How can I enter into the Most Holy place when I feel so unworthy of Your glance, let alone Your love?

I love it when God answers my questions!  Holy Spirit surrounded me in that moment like an embrace, and He said to my heart with sweet enthusiasm, "Sarah, if you want to be the Beloved, you must learn how to simply Be Loved.  Stop trying to earn it, and just let Me love you!"  Totally undone, I was lost to the world for the next 20 minutes as my King and Wonderful Counselor unwrapped this idea in me.  Even on my best day, I am unworthy to come into His presence, but He calls me, draws me irresistibly anyway!  Even on my worst day, His desire remains for me to sit at His feet in adoration anyway!  I cannot earn the identity of Beloved, any more than I can earn my salvation.  My only ability in the redemption process is to receive.  I cannot generate, accomplish, or earn my way to the place of intimate love with Jesus.  He has done it all for me.  He is waiting only for me to be with Him, in whatever state I am in, and simply let the unchanging, everlasting nature of His love wash over me and draw me deeper into His holiness.  Why do I try so hard to limit my own experience of His love by making it something I must perform for??  Yes, He desires obedience (Deuteronomy 30:20, 1 Samuel 15:22, Acts 5:32).  But I obey because I love Him (John 14:23).  And I love Him because He loved me first (1 John 4:19)! 

This is not wishful thinking.  He has given me permission to think of Him this way!  This is how I can access all that I need for life and godliness.  Sit at His feet.  Be Loved.  Receive from Him every provision and guidance in that place of intimacy.  Open up my heart to believe that He truly loves me THAT MUCH! 

To be loved by Jesus is what makes me His Beloved!  How I respond to that love is what makes Him my Beloved!

Bliss to you!
Sarah